Audio 1: “I’m always so hard on myself – I never feel like I’m good enough.”

• observing VAK and building rapport through non-verbal communication (always)

• challenging the statement using Meta Model for clarification (“in what ways are you hard on
yourself?”, “what does ‘good enough’ look like?”, “good enough compared to who/what?”, “are
there any times/situations when you feel you are good enough?”)

• probing the Meta Program (internal vs. external validation) – “how else might you be able to
more realistically determine if you are ‘good enough’?”

• Level of Development might be useful to help guide my responses, guessing by age as a

• Milton Model to help reframe into strengths? (high standards, always try my best etc..)

Audio 2: “The problem I have is becoming defensive when I think people are judging me, or if I think they’re appearing inconsiderate. I guess I’m just assuming that they think they’re better than me. I don’t know why I would do that, but I just always do.”

• observing VAK and building rapport through non-verbal communication

• gaining clarification using Meta Model:

• who are these ‘people’? Are they strangers, or people you know, work with etc.?

• what does getting defensive look like/feel like for you?

• what criteria are you using to determine that a person is judging you or appearing
inconsiderate (ask for examples)?

• challenge mind-reading (you really don’t have any idea what others are thinking or feeling
in those moments)

• Do you always get defensive, or is it specific situations/conditions/moods/circumstances?

• Challenge Meta Program of Internal vs. External Validation:

• do YOU think they are better than you? Why?

• Are there times when you feel you are better than others? In what ways? * Why does it matter what they think?

• Level of Development might be useful here again (guessing Level 3?)

• Try a reframe: “since you don’t actually know what they are thinking, perhaps try assuming
they are thinking something helpful or neutral instead” – (new behaviour generator)

• Given their statement that they ‘always do’, I would investigate how far back this goes, and how pervasive, and then look at possible AHA attachments.

Audio 3: “I overeat and occasionally drink too much. At 25 lbs overweight, it’s destructive emotionally and physically. I can remember issues with food as far back as age 6. I’m so tired of it… how can I stop?”

* observing VAK and building rapport through non-verbal communication * gaining clarification using Meta Model:

* how do you overeat? What is ‘too much’? According to whom? Who’s standards are you comparing yourself too?

* When do you overeat? When do you drink too much? What situations/circumstances, or all the time etc.?

* What is the weight and behaviour destroying in your life? (nominalization) How is it destroying these things?

* what sort of issues in earlier years (age 6) did you experience?

* Use Milton Model to soften the harshness of ‘destruction’ – heavy and harsh judgement on

* review memories around food to determine VAK in use

* review what occurs/triggers current eating and drinking behaviours to determine the VAK submodalities in use.

* AHA – sounds like a lifelong issue – check self-sabotage pattern

* clarity desired outcome – Outcome Specification – and guide them towards positive motivation
(currently sounds like negative motivation of judgement and guilt): weight loss? better
relationship with food and drink? How do you want to feel? Self-control?

* sounds like there is a stress response at play (‘so tired of it…. how can I stop?’) with cycling thoughts? Maybe try to introduce some DMN techniques/relaxation overall, and particularly
around times of eating/drinking.

Audio 4: “I’d say I feel ineffective. I think that’s the word I would use. I see other people accomplishing so much in a day, and I just don’t. Maybe I just procrastinate too much.”

* observing VAK and building rapport through non-verbal communication

* gaining clarification using Meta Model:

* what does ineffective look like to you? In what ways are you ineffective? How does it make you feel? How would you like to me more effective?

* who are these ‘other people’? everyone? co-workers?

* How do you know these other people are accomplishing so much? what do you see as
evidence of their accomplishments?

* Do you accomplish some things? Are there days when you do accomplish everything you
wanted to accomplish?

* How do you procrastinate? How often?

* Meta Program challenge: Internal vs. External Validation – what other, more reliable means could you use to determine if you are doing ‘enough’?

* Outcome Specification: what would help you feel effective? What do you wish to accomplish each day?

* Strategy – what strategy is the person using to set their daily agenda? Perhaps getting overwhelmed by big picture thinking etc.?

* Milton Model to create a positive statement of strengths?

Audio 5: “I’m unable to turn the opportunities before me into change, so they just go by. Sometimes I don’t see them at the time, but they’re obvious afterwards. But usually I just get confused and can’t turn thought into action. This applies to business and to romance.”

* observing VAK and building rapport through non-verbal communication * Level of Development: sounds like level 2

* gaining clarification using Meta Model:

* What types of opportunities (examples)? What sort of change or action are you desiring from these missed opportunities?

* How are they obvious afterwards?

* do they always go by/always missed? What does it look like when you are able to grasp opportunity and turn it into change/action?

* What does the confusion look like/feel like when it happens? (what strategy is in use? is the person overthinking and spinning instead of just acting?)

* Outcome Specification: What change/action/opportunities are you desiring in your life?

* AHA – possible pattern of self-sabotage?

* Milton Model – to suggest strengths, capabilities for taking a more active/decisive role in their
life; also to suggest possibility that some of these ‘missed’ opportunities were simply not right for them?

Audio 6: “I’m judgemental of what my husband says. It’s as if he’s stupid and I’m the smart one. I can also do it with employees, as if I’m a know-it-all, and then in both cases I’m left alone with my righteous vibe. It also leaks out with clients at times. I know I’ve done this since I was young.”

* observing VAK and building rapport through non-verbal communication

* gaining clarification using Meta Model:

* What are you judging in your husband, employees, clients? Intelligence only, or other criteria? What do they say that triggers your judgement?

* What do you do/say to demonstrate judgement to your husband/employees/clients?

* How are you left alone? When are you left alone – after the judgemental incident?

* What does this righteous vibe feel like (VAK)? How long does it last?

* In what ways does it leak out with clients?

* What is it that you’ve ‘done’ since you were young? Judge, or act on the judgement? Push others away? How young?

* AHA – life long pattern suggests an attachment/self-sabotage (what is the underlying need, and how can you achieve it in healthier ways?)

* Outcome Specification: how would you like to respond to your husband, employees, clients? Try New Behaviour Generator.

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